Couples Counselling in Oakham, Rutland – Relationship Reconnection with Sarah Louise Ryan.

Most couples who come to see me feel stuck, lost or at breaking point.

Not because they don’t care, but because they’ve usually tried everything they know how to try first.

They’ve argued. They’ve avoided it. They’ve promised change and watched the same patterns return.

By the time they reach out, many of them are emotionally exhausted, disconnected, and unsure whether their relationship even has a future.

Some are already sleeping in separate rooms.Some barely speak unless it’s about practicalities.Some are still together only because of children or finances.

They don’t usually walk in saying,“

We’re about to separate.”

They walk in saying things like:

“We can’t go on like this anymore.”

or

“We’ve tried everything and nothing changes.”

Sometimes there’s still love there. Sometimes there’s such a history and shared life, they feel stuck.

And that stuck feeling can be just as painful as constant conflict.

Many of the couples I work with in Oakham and across Rutland are still doing life together on the outside. They’re going to work, managing the children, paying the bills, keeping things moving.

But inside the relationship, something feels strained, flat or fragile.

Sometimes that shows up as constant conflict.Sometimes as emotional withdrawal.Sometimes as a lack of sexual intimacy.Sometimes through tension around money.Sometimes in how you navigate parenting differently.Sometimes in how you no longer know how to talk to each other without it becoming a battle.

Often, it’s not just one issue – it’s all of them layered on top of years of unspoken hurt.

Another part of why couples leave it so long is the stigma.We still live in a culture where seeking relationship support feels like admitting failure.

Where people think strong couples should just “sort it out themselves”, especially around things like conflict, money, sex or parenting.

So couples keep going.They cope.They push things down.They avoid the harder conversations.

Until one day they realise they’re no longer partners – just people surviving side by side.

Reaching for support doesn’t make you weak.It usually means you care enough not to give up without understanding what’s really happening.

The approach I use is Imago Relationship Therapy.

I don’t see it as a way to “fix” either of you.I see it as a way to help you understand why you’re hurting each other in the ways you are, often without meaning to.

In our work together, whether in person in Oakham, Rutland or online, we don’t just focus on the arguments. We also look at the deeper stuff:

Sexual and emotional intimacy, and how that has shifted or shut down. Affairs, emotional or physical, and how the relationship can process the breach of trust and decide what healing looks like.

Conflict that keeps repeating in slightly different forms.

Communication that has turned into criticism, withdrawal, or silence. Money and the power, fear or insecurity it can bring into a relationship.

Parenting differences that create distance rather than teamwork. The loss of friendship underneath the relationship, and how that can be rebuilt so romance has something real to grow from again.

And for couples who already know they’re separating, I also support the goodbye process – helping you consciously uncouple with dignity, clarity and care, especially when children or long histories are involved.

Imago gives you a structure to talk about these things without blame, defensiveness or collapse. It slows everything down enough for real understanding to start happening.

Most couples who come to me in Oakham, Rutland or online don’t expect perfection.They just want some relief.

They’re tired of feeling like opponents.Tired of walking on eggshells. Tired of having the same conversations and getting nowhere.Tired of the distance, the resentment, the silence, the loss of touch and warmth.

Some still want to fully reconnect. Some don’t know.Some are on the edge of separation.

All of that is welcome.

This isn’t about forcing you to stay together or pushing you to leave.It’s about helping you understand your relationship honestly, so whatever happens next isn’t driven purely by pain.

I offer couples counselling in Oakham, Rutland, and also work with couples online across the UK and internationally.

Some couples sit in the same room with me. Some sit in different rooms in the same house. Some are in different cities or countries.

Some arrive full of anger.Some full of sadness. Some barely speaking at all.

My role is to create a space where neither of you has to perform or defend. Just be honest, at your own pace.

I work calmly, directly and with care. Not focusing on sides, but on the relationship itself, because that’s where the real story lives.

You might be wondering if it’s too late.If too much has happened. If you’ve waited too long.

Many couples arrive thinking it’s hopeless, not because it truly is, but because they’re worn down and don’t know how to change the pattern anymore.

Sometimes therapy helps couples rebuild their relationship. Sometimes it helps them separate with compassion and clarity through a conscious uncoupling process.

Both can be healing when done properly.

A little about me...

I’m Sarah Louise Ryan, a Psychotherapeutic Counsellor with a Level 5 Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling and an Advanced Imago Relationship Therapy Clinician.

I’ve been working with individuals and couples for many years in the relationship field and romantic connection has always been at the centre of my work – all of the emotional dynamics around love, conflict, money, parenting and communication are in focus in my work.

I’m warm, grounded and emotionally intuitive in the way I work. I care deeply about the people I sit with, and I take their relationships seriously. Not as something to “fix”, but as something to understand with honesty and respect.

Whether I’m helping couples rebuild intimacy, navigate conflict and communication, work through money pressures, recover after an affair, strengthen co-parenting, or walk through a goodbye process, I don’t treat any of it lightly.

Because it matters. And the people inside it matter.

If some of this reflects where you and your partner are, you don’t need to know exactly what you want to happen yet.

You don’t need the perfect words either.

Just the willingness to acknowledge that something needs attention.

Whether you’re based in Oakham, Rutland, or you’re looking for online couples therapy, you can reach out when it feels right for you.

I’ll meet you exactly where you are.

Or, you can book an introduction session here.