Featured in The Times - What Men Need To Know About Menopause: Relationships, Intimacy & Connection
- Apr 13
- 4 min read
Featured in The Times: Why Burning Up and Frozen Out Starts a Conversation We Shouldn't Avoid
I was honoured to be asked to contribute to Burning Up and Frozen Out, and equally delighted to have made a snippet in The Times, thanks to mentions by the wonderful author Joe Warner.
Moments like this are meaningful, not simply because of the visibility, but because of what they represent. They signal that conversations which have long been underexplored - particularly around the menopause and its impact on relationships - are beginning to take their rightful place in wider cultural dialogue.
Because this is not just a health conversation.
It is a relationship conversation.
Why This Conversation Matters More Than Ever
For a long time, the menopause has been framed as something deeply personal. Something women are expected to manage internally, often quietly, and without it significantly affecting the structures around them — including their relationships.
But this framing misses something fundamental.
The menopause does not happen in isolation. It unfolds within the context of a person’s life — their identity, their emotional world, and critically, their relationships.
This is why Burning Up and Frozen Out is such an important contribution. It brings into focus not just the experience itself, but the relational dynamics that are often impacted by it — and rarely spoken about with enough clarity.
The Meaning Behind Burning Up and Frozen Out
The title captures something many people feel, but don’t always have the language to articulate.
“Burning up” reflects the intensity of the internal experience — the physical symptoms, the emotional fluctuations, the sense of overwhelm that can at times feel all-encompassing.
“Frozen out” speaks to what can happen externally - within the relationship. The moments where communication shifts, where connection feels less accessible, where one or both partners may feel unsure of how to navigate what is changing.
This is not about fault or failure. It is about understanding. Because very often, what couples are experiencing is not a breakdown of connection — but a lack of shared awareness around what is actually happening.
What the Feature in The Times Represents
Being included in The Times reflects a broader shift in how these conversations are being approached.
There is a growing recognition that the menopause is not a niche topic. It is a life stage that carries emotional, psychological, and relational weight — and one that deserves to be understood in a more integrated way.
This means moving beyond surface-level awareness, and into conversations that consider:
The emotional experience behind the physical symptoms
The relational impact of those changes
The communication challenges that can arise
The psychological adjustments required on both sides
Because without this level of understanding, people are often left trying to interpret complex experiences without the tools to do so effectively.
The Reality for Many Couples
In practice, what this often looks like is subtle, but significant.
A shift in mood may be misinterpreted as withdrawal. A need for space may feel like rejection. Changes in intimacy can create uncertainty, even when there is still care and commitment present.
Over time, these misunderstandings can accumulate.
Not because either person is intentionally creating distance - but because they are responding to change without a shared framework for understanding it.
This is where many couples begin to feel disconnected. Not dramatically, but gradually.
Reframing the Menopause Within Relationships
One of the most important shifts this book - and this wider conversation - encourages is a reframing.
The menopause is not something that happens to a relationship. It is something that a relationship moves through.
And like any transition, it requires adaptation.
It asks both individuals to engage with the relationship differently - with more awareness, more communication, and a greater willingness to understand experiences that may not be immediately familiar.
This can look like:
Creating space for open, honest conversation
Approaching change with curiosity, rather than assumption
Recognising that emotional responses may be influenced by deeper physiological shifts
Staying connected, even when the dynamic feels different
These are not complex strategies. But they are deeply impactful.
From Awareness to Connection
At its core, this conversation is about connection.
About ensuring that as individuals move through change, the relationship evolves alongside them — rather than being left behind. Because strong relationships are not defined by their ability to remain unchanged. They are defined by their ability to adapt, respond, and deepen over time.
And the menopause, when understood and navigated with care, can become a point of greater connection - not disconnection.
Work With Me
If this resonates - whether you’re experiencing these changes personally or within your relationship - you don’t have to navigate it without support.
In a 1:1 relational therapy session, we explore the emotional and relational dynamics at play, helping you communicate more effectively, understand each other more deeply, and move through this stage with greater clarity and connection.
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